I don’t like that person. Yay!

 

I have been so low in self-esteem for most of my life that I  have overly worried about whether or not people liked me.

Eventually, I woke up one day and asked myself this very freeing thought:  “Well, who do I like and not like?”

This was a totally new perspective that I had never contemplated before!  Freedom!  Power!

I actually have the choice who I want into my life.  I can be in charge of that instead of giving other people that decision.  That’s why I say it gave me power.  It gave me freedom to not care what other people thought about me.

I get to think about whether or not I like someone!  Can you believe that?  I could hardly believe it myself.  Why had I not figured this out when I was younger?  Oh how my life could have changed.

Today, I can make friends if I want to.  I can leave people behind me too.  Not that I would ever be mean to someone that I didn’t like.  But I don’t have to chase that person anymore and try to get them to like me.

Here is one example:

There was this woman who I have always been to nice to.  I would approach her to say Hi.  I would ask her about her day when we bumped into each other.  I would try to take an interest in what she was talking about when we were in a group of people.  I would ask her questions and try to get a conversation going.

I did this for 5 years.

It was making me crazy that I could not get this woman to respond to me!  She didn’t have to be my best friend.  I wasn’t even looking for that.  All I wanted was for her to see I was a nice person and to say “Hi” to me sometimes.  She would walk right by me and never say Hello, even after 5 years.

Okay, I’m dense probably.  It took 5 years.  It’s because I’ve suffered from low self-esteem a lot in my life.

That day, when I woke up and asked myself,  “who do I like” was a big eye opener.  You know what?  I don’t like someone who won’t be friendly to me when I have been friendly to them!  I’m free!  I’m free!  I can leave this person behind me and look for people who want to reciprocate me and appreciate me.

So, if you have low self-esteem from depression and anxiety, guess what?  You too can choose who you want to be your friend.  You no longer have to worry about who doesn’t like you.  Because, chances are, you don’t like them anyway if you look inside yourself and really think about it.

Don’t wish them harm, don’t gossip.  Just quietly move on with your dignity.  That’s what I did.  I’m free and empowered now.  Yay!